Chapter 3 – Turn your face around
Translated by: Pumpkin
Edited by: Earl,Ch40s, DeviousGrief
“I have encountered ignorant people before. However, I have never encountered someone as ignorant as you!” The green gowned old man was so angry that he was about to go crazy. “The Ghost Raising Jar itself cannot be considered as a powerful Magical Treasure. I am the one that is truly powerful. Do you know how many things I have seen in the several tens of thousands of years in there? Do you know how much I have learned? Ever since twenty thousand years ago, I was already a treasured object that many people fought over for. You, you, you…”
“Wait a minute here, green haired old man, what did you just say? Several tens of thousands of years?”
“That’s right, ever since I was created by the first generation master, it had been several tens of thousands of years. Do you understand how powerful I am now?”
“For real?” Wei Suo pointed to the several beauty portraits that was hanging beside his bed. “Green haired old man, quickly, tell me this, were those beauties from several tens of thousand years ago as beautiful as this beauty in the paintings? Also, what sort of Dual Cultivation Technique do you all use?”
“Are you stupid?!” The green gowned old man had finally been driven mad completely. “Do you even know what was the most important aspect of cultivation? It’s experience! I have experienced countless masters, do you know how much experience I have? You… you…”
“Oh, right!” Wei Suo eyes immediately started shining. “Green haired old man, in that case, you must know a lot of martial techniques. Quickly, teach me a couple of martial techniques. I don’t need anything too powerful since I doubt I would be able to learn them anyways. I only need something that’s a bit more powerful than the Heavenly Path Sect’s, Heavenly Path True Understanding.”
“This… I do not know any martial techniques for cultivation.” The green gowned old man was startled. “I can’t train in the martial techniques. Furthermore, it’s not like one could tell what sort of martial technique someone is cultivating from by just looking at them. I only know about how they cultivate and train.”
“You don’t even know about any martial techniques, yet you shamelessly said that the most important aspect of cultivation was experience?”
“I know a lot about pellet concocting, talisman making, and crafting Magical Treasures!” The green gowned old man was about to cry.
“For real?” Wei Suo’s eyes started shining once again. One must know that pellet concocting and artifact crafting techniques were the secrets of major sects. In the entire Spirit Peak City, there were only a few pellet makers and artifact craftsmen. If this green gowned old man truly knew a lot about pellet concocting and artifact crafting, then Wei Suo would truly be in immense luck this time around.
“Give me a random pellet concocting or artifact crafting recipe. Let me see if you truly are amazing.” Wei Suo, who was scammed by thirteen Low Quality Spiritual Stones, was already so poor that he had even thought about pawning his underpants. His eyes immediately shined as he said that to the old man.
‘After I teach you a recipe, you’ll definitely be begging for my help obediently. I’ll be able to drink whatever I want to.’ Thought the green gowned old man as he fumed with rage between gritted teeth. He decided that with the intelligence of the man before him, he would not be able to understand even if he was to teach him something too complicated. Thus, the green gowned old man recalled the most simple recipe for Wei Suo. “Energy Recovery Medicine; Little Dew Grass, Three Night Flower, Fire Chrysanthemum Root, in a ratio of three to three to four. It would be extremely easy to create this Energy Recovery Medicine.”
“Green haired old man, exactly how long have you stayed in this useless jar?”
“Why did you ask that? Ever since this Ghost Raising Jar was broken by my fifty-sixth master’s opponent, I had been staying in there the entire time. Had it not been for you coincidentally breaking the marks sealing me whilst not breaking the formation array that provided me with Spiritual Energy, I would not have been able to come out today. Let me think… I reckon it’s been at least ten to twenty thousand years now.”
“Sorry about this, but if my memory is correct, the Three Night Flowers had gone extinct three thousand years ago.” Wei Suo said expressionlessly.
“For real? In that case, let me give you another recipe. Level one Fireball Talisman; Break apart Silver Candle Grass and Firetail Flower to make the talisman paper. Then use some Fire Scorpion’s blood to draw the talisman. The talisman is drawn this way…”
“Talisman drawing? I don’t think there’s a need for that.” Wei Suo once again started to untie his waistband.
“What are you doing?” The green gowned old man was greatly shocked. “Are you going to tell me that these things have also gone extinct?”
“Green haired old man, you’re deliberately trying to scam me for Fire Scorpion’s blood, right? You can recover your strength after drinking it, right? You can deal with me after drinking it, right? Did you truly think that I’m an idiot? At least think before trying to scam me!”
“What exactly are you talking about? Although the Silver Candle Grass was pretty rare, but this talisman recipe was definitely legit. Back then, my master had also only discovered that Fire Scorpion’s blood would nourish me when he was crafting this talisman.”
“Liar, keep lying.” Wei Suo sneered as he looked to the green gowned old man. “Excuse me, please turn your face around.”
The green gowned old man was extremely confused. “Turn my face around?”
“Mn, I had only urinated once earlier. However, because you’re too ugly, I cannot urinate while looking at you.”
“…” If he could hang himself, then this green gowned old man would’ve already hung himself. “What exactly is with you? Even if you are going to piss on me again, at least let me understand why.”
“Fine, I’ll let you understand why you’ll be pissed on.” Wei Suo looked to the green gowned old man as if he was looking at an idiot. He violently pushed the windows open.
After the heavy rain, the air outside was fresh and clean. On the roof far away, several stray cats were running on top of it. There were many silver colored weeds waving in the wind.
“You said the Silver Candle Grass was very rare?” Wei Suo picked up a chair, sat down on it and looked to the green gowned old man. “Green haired old fart, your acting skills are pretty good. Today, that scammer who scammed me, he must’ve learned from you, right?”
“How is that possible?” The green gowned old man opened his mouth so wide that one could even put an egg in it now. Even the cracks between the roof stones had weeds growing through it. The stalks of the weeds appeared like wooden clubs. It was definitely the Silver Candle Grass.
“Old fart, of the three things you mentioned, other than the Fire Scorpion being slightly difficult to obtain, the other two things were things that you can find all over the place. If you can create a Fireball Talisman with only these three items, then I would be able to have a chicken hatch from a duck egg, won’t I? C’mon, go and turn your face over.”
“I understand now! Wahahahaha.”
The green gowned old man was stunned for a moment. After that, he started to laugh wildly and joyfully.
“Did my piss flood his brain, causing him to become retarded?” Wei Suo was stunned.
“Even if you don’t want to profit, you are still going to profit!” The green gowned old man raised his chest. “I understand now. The Three Night Flower have gone extinct three thousand years ago. Ten thousand years ago, the Silver Candle Grass was still very sparse. Yet, it is very abundant now. That was because too much time had passed and everything was different now! Is there anymore Ironstring Grass now? What about Colored Glass Fruit? If there is, how abundant are they? Furthermore, the Fire Earth Dragon haven’t gone extinct, right? Is it abundant?”
Of course they’re abundant! Idiot!” Wei Suo rolled his eyes and said.
“You still don’t understand. Would the cultivation martial techniques from several tens of thousands of years ago be the same as the ones today? They’re different.” The green gowned old man did not become frantic. Instead, he said hurriedly. “The blue sea had turned into mulberry fields now. The world has changed. The martial techniques, the pellet concocting techniques had gone through countless developments in the several tens of thousands of years. The cultivators from several tens of thousands of years ago were people who cultivated through the use of the World’s Spiritual Meridians. The cultivators after them mostly used Spiritual Medicines or Demon Pellets to train. What I have here is merely a small sect’s talisman making recipe from before. Back then, this recipe was not of much use at all. That was because the Silver Candle Grass and Firetail Flower were extremely sparse back then. However, now, these two items are abundant like weeds.”
“Green haired old man, even now, you’re still trying to scam me? You’re trying to tell me that your talisman making recipe is real?”
“Of course it’s real. It could be said that the world is mysterious and inexorable. I, a lowest level Magical Treasure, an item that is useless, had encountered fate by coincidence! I managed to appear again in the most splendid era. I would definitely leave my name in the annals and become a legend in the world of cultivators! What the fuck! You!” The green gowned old man raised his hands up in the air. He was extremely excited and appeared extremely heroic. However, before he even finished speaking, a stream of urine sprinkled all over his face.
“I truly cannot take it anymore.” Wei Suo shook his head and said that as he tied his waistband.
“Boss, exactly what must I do for you to believe me?” The green gowned old man had became completely speechless. “The talisman making recipe that I had told you was indeed real. If you don’t believe me, you can try it out. If what I told you was false, you can throw me into a manure pit and remain soaking there for ten thousand years.”